maybe one day

Maybe one day the tears won’t come.

Maybe one day you will feel as if you did everything you could.

Maybe one day you’ll realize that it was not your fault.

Maybe one day you will be enough for someone.

Maybe one day you will know your worth in Christ.

Maybe one day you will see how those trials and tribulations were for the betterment of you.

Maybe one day. 

For me, those three words are the most commonly used words in my vocabulary. I am a hopeless romantic and a terrible optimist. (No, optimism is NOT wrong β€” I might just hope too much.) I hold on to things that may not even reenter my life. I hold on to the hope of what could be, and more often than not, I think of how things should be, instead of how they actually are. I think of how things should pan out in my eyes, but I sometimes forget that I am not the one who has designed my future and that I am not in control. 

Isaiah 55:8-9 says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (ESV) It is so easy for us to forget that we are not in control. It is easy for our plans to fall through. It is easy to think that everything should happen the way we thought it was supposed to. But sometimes, God has this nice way of throwing all of your plans and aspirations in your face at once and saying “Nuh uh. Let’s do it MY way.” And I sit back and let Him take the reigns. 

For me, it was a boy. It was the boy who I had prayed for and hoped for all my life that I thought I found. In the beginning, I thought that it was right. I thought that it was true and that it was good and that he was the one. I thought that this was what love was supposed to feel like. It felt like what my grandparents had. And maybe you’ve felt the same way. You’ve been so head over heels in love that you may have been blinded by the true nature of his or her being. You may have dated this boy or girl for so long until your eyes started slowly coming back into focus one day. You started listening to your friends’ advice. You started listening to your significant other’s tone of voice when you were having an argument. You started reading between the lines. You may have even realized that you were walking on egg shells. You quite possibly could have realized that you have completely revolved your life around that person to appease them. You don’t know how to live with them or without them. It’s all so messed up… you’re so messed up now, because of them. 

Manipulation, anxiety, constant, nagging stress, physical, mental, and emotional abuse. These may be aspects of a relationship you’re in right now that you do not even realize are in your relationship. Some of these I experienced in a past relationship. It was heart-breaking to see how things could change so quickly; to see the person I could tell anything and everything to slip through my fingers like quick sand. I spent so many hours in prayer wondering where I went wrong. What could I have done to ease the problems? Was there even something I could have done? God simply answered, “No.” He showed me that I deserved so much more. He showed me that I will one day marry a man as great as my own father. He spoke to me and assured me that right then, it was not the time to worry. That the boy I so dearly loved was not the man I needed at that moment. He could change, but I couldn’t sit around and wait for that. He showed me that I will be loved by someone who will love me just like Christ loves us β€” so sacrificially and wholly without wavering. 

Needless to say, that relationship ended. And maybe, it was for the better. It is often hard to see light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to relationships. Getting over someone you used to care so deeply and passionately for is a tough task β€” possibly one of the toughest tasks. I still wake up sometimes even now, and the tears won’t stop falling for an hour. I wake up after dreaming of him and the pain and longing to be with him comes right back around. However, when we turn our sorrows and our griefs over to our Father, we will find more love and hope in Christ than we ever could imagine. God is truly the best listener. CONVERSE with Him. TALK with Him. TELL Him everything. He will show us in one way or another, that there is something good to come out of the pain that we are feeling.

Maybe one day, we will see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5 ESV

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