present pain

Today I walked into church ten minutes late, which is not totally normal for me. Usually I am on time. However, this morning I was faced with varying levels of uncertainty and sadness in my life. If you read “maybe one day”, then you will know that recently I had a relationship that ended. This relationship did not end on my terms and frankly, I am still in love. Deeply, at that. So when the ex hit up my line last night to ask if he could have the books back he lent me, the sadness came back in waves. The sadness came back when he ended the conversation with “I’ll get it another time. Hope you’re doing well. Have a good night” < didn’t even have correct grammar, but it’s fine > and I replied with “Okay sounds good. Hope you are too. I miss you.” What kind of reply did I get, you ask?


Nada, zilch, not a word back. So, my question is, does he miss me? And if he does, why didn’t he tell me? The world may never know.

Being the dramatic girl I am, I sent a long message this morning to him after seeing a few of his tweets that he had had last night exclaiming to the world how great life was and how happy everything is. *brb throwing up* I told him in the long message how I missed him among other things. I know – you’re thinking “Are you stupid?”. Well, maybe I am stupid. But at least I’m not the one holding back how I feel, right?

After I had my time sobbing into my mother’s arms, I willed myself to get off the couch and get a shower and go to church. When I walked in the back door during the first hymn, I grabbed a bulletin and sat in my usual pew. As the service went on and our speaker stood at the pulpit, she began speaking about the element of pain. She spoke about the pains that fellow followers of Christ sitting next to us in the pews may be going through. And it seemed like everything she said hit home with me. A grand slam, actually. Straight out of Busch Stadium and over the wall towards the Arch. 

We may never know what the person sitting next to us goes through on a daily basis. We may never know what they are struggling with. However, it is SO important of us as Christians to be listeners, supporters, and friends to the people around us. We can reach out and connect with fellow believers no matter what level of pain or uncertainty they are feeling. And this was so true to my current situation. When she said that there were people in the pew who would help us through, she was so right. I looked to my left and saw the girl who I’d watched grow up and who had turned into one of my very best friends over the last few years. She is four years younger than me and one of my favorite people on this planet. She has been one of the best encouragers for me with my relationship issues over the past few months and always kept me laughing. How lovely it was to hear and to know that our brothers and sisters in Christ can be some of the best encouragers in our day to day lives.

So friends, let us do our best to remember that life is not always fine and dandy. Life is not always picture perfect for everyone. Let’s do our best to reach out to the people around us, strangers or friends, to ask people how they are. Let’s be genuine in our questions and caring when we listen. Let’s acknowledge pain and fight it with gospel truths. Let’s heal together.

My pain is present, but it is only temporary. And yours is too, I assure you.

“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalms 30:5


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