This is possibly the toughest test of my character. I have always been the type of person to not want to wait for anything. I was the eager child on Christmas morning up at 4 am ready to go right then and there. I’m the type of person who wants to make a plan and put it in to action within minutes. I do not like to wait for anything. I want to see the end results as soon as possible.
However, God has put it on my heart lately to be more patient; especially with relationships. I have made up my mind that at this point in my life, I am going to be in a season of waiting. I have spent the last two and a half years in a relationship, with a brief period of being single before I started another relationship. I hardly know the type of person I am without a boy. Yes, I am an independent person. But I don’t necessarily remember what it feels like to not rely almost entirely on another person for everything – whether that be dealing with stress, happiness, grieving the loss of a dog, rejoicing in a tournament win, or anything. I’ve almost always had someone by my side to be with me during those times. But the past few months, I have not had that shoulder to lean on. I lost my childhood dog of seven years, changed my major, and almost failed a couple anatomy quizzes. In those times, I realized how much I actually don’t need a shoulder to lean on. At least not right now. I have friends and family who will be there for me no matter what.
For now, I am strong enough on my own.
In this rare age of eighteen, almost nineteen, you change. You change a lot, frankly. I wouldn’t recognize my seventeen-year-old self if she were staring me in the face right now. These times I think are the best times to discover who you are. In the past six months I have learned so much about myself and what I bring to the table in any aspect of life. I know the type of person I am and I know what I am worth – I know my worth in Christ. I know that right now, I’m not ready to bring someone else into the picture. I need this season of waiting to let my character evolve even more. I want to wait because a good, true love is worth waiting for. A Christ-like love is worth waiting for.
A brave, charismatic, smart, God-fearing man is worth waiting for. Why settle for less?
So I’m challenging myself, and you, if you are in this same type of situation, to wait. Wait as long as you seem fit. Don’t settle for second-best. Don’t fool around with something just because it is something. Don’t make excuses. Take time to get to know yourself. Know your worth. Strengthen your friendships. Make connections. Strive for a 4.0 next semester. Challenge yourself to branch out and make new friends. Do whatever you think will prepare you best for the next relationship, whenever that may be. I know that being patient will surely produce blessings.
And for right now, I’m okay with waiting to see what God’s got planned for me.
“For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently.” – Romans 8:24-25